Couple Raises Child

I haven’t been blogging lately because I have been in a pretty dark place emotionally. Davy at two and a half is total hell on wheels. I mean what else would you expect from our bright and feisty girl. We have been ramping up or the “terrible twos” but now that I am officially in them. It’s like I am living with a giant succubus who is slowly eating away at my soul. Sounds a little dramatic. Well its been a crazy long day, so what’evs.

It’s actually not the tantrums, or the whining that is getting to me. It’s her total disregard for any authority that I may have over her. I find myself YELLING. I talk loud but I am not a yeller. It’s the way I say “Come on Davy” and she takes off running in the other direction. It’s the way she can now climb out of her crib (buh bye naps). It’s the way when we try any kind of basic discipline- she just laughs in my face. This is exhausting. I am totally worried that I am raising a tiny asshole. I know its a phase, I know she is normal- if not a little extra precocious. I know this precociousness will serve her very well in life. I know this is taking up so much of my emotional energy that it leaves little for other relationships, my marriage or any tasks that don’t give me immediate joy (like cleaning). There are lots of benefits to being an older parent, but energy level- its just not one of them.

So what do you do when you are emotionally overwhelmed and physically exhausted? When you are sleeping poorly and constantly dealing with a pooping and peeing, sassy toodler. Get another dog…..

A few weeks ago I decideed it was time to get a canine pal for Miz Bella. Bella went through a period of deep mourning after Georgia died. She still howls with loneliness when we leave her alone. She has always been part of a duo and her saddens was breaking my heart.

Two weeks ago my friend Audra and her wife Loren came for a visit. Audra is a pet adoption specialist who works for the San Francisco SPCA was visiting and we had many discussions about what our future dog would look like. Andy has wanted a bulldog for years, I wanted a rescue Mutt. Must be mellow, easy, good with kids and other dogs. Last week Audra emailed me a photo and description of “Patsy” an American Bulldog mix. She is two. She was smiling with her funny teeth. Audra told me she is so good with other dogs that they use her as the dog that they train the more aggressive dogs with. She is mellow, not needy and has had a bunch of training. We knew she was our dog.

SO we took a 50 hour trip to San Francisco to go get her. Davy for the record did the car trip like a champ. The rest- not-so much. We renamed the newest member of our family Moo Shu Pork Beach. She is everything we could hope fore. She is the sweetest, most easy-going dog we know. The best part Bella LOVES her. LOVED her immediately. So there you have it. Maybe Moo will turn into a pshchopathic ax murder when she is two and a half. Probably.

Bella’s face says it all

Posted this on Facebook

and then this happened

This two-and-a-half stuff might just kill me.

I sent my father this video of Davy playing her new drum set

His response made me laugh

I had no idea who Gene Krupa is (thanks to wikipedia now i know)

My reaction was “Oh my Gawd my dad is OLD.”
I am sure Davy will say the same thing to me when I say “wow your a regular Roger Taylor”

Since Georgia died there has been a change in Bella. At first her grief was palpable. Painful. Bella has always been a younger pup and with out her older and grumpier sister to boss her around she has been lost. We have tried herbal remedies, walks, extra attention and thunder shirts. All which worked to some extent.

Bella has always suffered from a lot of anxiety. She has pretty extreme separation anxiety and still (at age 8) can’t be left alone in the house with out being put in a small space. We usually put her in Davy’s playroom. About 3 out of 10 times she poops in the room. It sucks, but at this point we (well I) have come to accept is. Davy always is the first to point out “Bella’s Poop” because we have a poop obsessed toddler. Seriously there is so much poop in my life.

February is actually a nice month in Portland. There is a beautiful dog part near Davy’s preschool. It’s a wonderful place, huge giant Doug Firs, hawks, rolling hills. Bella and I spent many hours here when we first moved to Portland. It is what helped me fall in love with the beauty of this place.

Due to our schedule and my just feeling overwhelmed in general, Bella hasn’t been getting to go to the dog park as much as I would like. This was a huge mistake on my behalf because its EXACTLY what she needs. Really it only takes about 30 minutes until she is totally warn out (my dog is part quarter horse, she has a short but enormous spirt of energy but zero endurance.)

These trips to the park make her happy and in turn I get to reconnect with my joy of seeing her run like a maniac. I am glad we are back on track.