The learning curve over the last six months has been huge. It’s hard to think about what we did with our time before Davy, or for that matter what we did for entertainment.

1. what did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Had freshly brewed coffee in Northern Ethiopia with milk that just came from the cow

2.did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I never remember my resolutions. I pretty much break them the second. This year’s resolution is just to have a quiet and peaceful year. To live our lives in the moment and remember to breath

3. did anyone close to you give birth? A few friends had babies, but i am going to open this question up to are there children in your life that weren’t here last year? That answer is unequivocally yes, Davy, Beti, Sophia, Sara, Luke, Little M, Zamacha, Levi and Aaron, Tae, and countless others.

4. did anyone close to you die? not this year, no

5. what countries did you visit? Ethiopia, Canada, Amsterdam, layovers in Rome, the Sudan, Frankfurt

6. what would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011? I have the knowledge of what it is like to be a mother. That’s a big deal

7. what date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? July 2, 2011 the day our plan landed in Portland and a family of two became a family of three. Forever.

8. what was your biggest achievement of the year? Not completely loosing my shit during the adoption stress

9. what was your biggest failure? Completely loosing my shit during the adoption stress

10. did you suffer illness or injury? Nope

11. what was the best thing you bought? Andy bought me a Kindle which kept me occupied through 3 of the 4 plane rides to and from Ethiopia

12. whose behavior merited celebration? My husband who remained calm, cool and collected during much of the year while I was loosing my shit over adoption stress

14. where did most of your money go? airplane tickets to Ethiopia

15. what did you get really, really, really excited about? On June 16 our adoption agency called to let us know that we could go and pick up our daughter. I was at a temp job. I cried, jumped up and down, cursed like a sailor, took a 2 hour lunch break and then quit.

16. what song(s) will always remind you of 2011? London Bridge is Falling Down, Davy has a toy that plays it a million times a day.

17. compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? MUCH happier
b) thinner or fatter? Marginally Thinner
c) richer or poorer? My life is rich, happy and complete

18. what do you wish you’d done more of? Sleep before Davy came home

19. what do you wish you’d done less of? Maybe stressed about the adoption less
20. how will you be spending christmas? We spent Christmas at home, quiet and beautiful

21. where did you begin the year; and where will you end it? We began 2010 with our dear friends Ari and Anne and ended it with them. Hope we get to do it again next year and the year after and the year after

22. did you fall in love in 2011? You betcha

23. how many one-night stands? Oh pllleeeezzzzzeee

24. what was your favorite TV program? Boardwalk Empire, Justified, Sons of Anarchy, Americas Next Top Model

25. do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Hate? No, Strongly dislike yup, but it’s a new year and I have let it go.
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26. what was the best book you read? So many, Hannah Dream, State of Wonder, The Pages In Between, The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, Cutting for Stone, Unbroken, State of Wonder

27. what was your greatest musical discovery? That not all kids music sucks (thanks Sara)

28. what did you want and get? in the biggest way possible

29. what did you want and not get? nope

30. what was your favorite film of this year? Movies? We went to see Cowboys and Aliens after we came home with Davy. The movie sucked but it was our first date as parents. It felt delicious.

31. what did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 40, Andy bought me a spa day. I had a massage and pedicure. More importantly, I got to hug my daughter.

32. what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? More time to the day

how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011? Anything covered in peanut butter

34. what kept you sane? Friends, family, knitting, quilting, good meals

35. which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Princes William and Princess Kate

36. what political issue stirred you the most? really truly the new mandatory composting makes me crazy

37. who did you miss? My grandpa and grandma

38. who was the best new person you met? Davy Dinkenesh Beach. Hands down the best person I have met in 2011

39. tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011: Not to get too deep, but I think I started to believe in God in 2011. Has to do with meeting Davy and all of the circumstances that have lead to us being together.

40. quote a song lyric that sums up your year: Dog Days are Over

First night of Hanukah

Laughing maniacally in new Christmas Jammies

My friend Jude had contacted me a few months ago about making a quilt for her daughter’s birthday. She wanted it to have a horsy theme, because Sophie loves the ponies. I offered to make her a quilt. I have known Jude for almost 20 years. She is also an quite literally an expert on attachment and bonding. Not just someone who “thinks” they are an expert- we have all met them before, but and actual real-life expert. As you can imagine I called her everyday when Davy first arrived. I still talk to her all the time as Davy eases into toddlerhood. Everyone on the planet should have a Judith to call. Her advise is practical, funny, laid back and totally applicable.

When you are process with adoption they (social workers, your adoption agency, other parents, society in general) totally freak you out that your kid is NEVER going to attach to you. It’s nice to have an expert to just tell you that most of it is bunk. It really is. People who’s kids are having attachment issues don’t just wonder if they are having trouble attaching- they KNOW. In caps KNOW. But I digress….

This quilt has been the funnest project I have worked on in a while. I bought the appliqued horse heads (does that make me a cheater- i dunno). I did the rest of the quilting. Mostly I was really excited about the precision of the process. All the pieces were basically the same size and when I put them together they fit! Hurrah. Also I had no plan for the quilt. I just started with a tiny bit of fabric and kind of bought it as I was going along. It was a nice creative process. The quilt is freaking GIGANTIC its 63×94. I have no idea how I am going to cram it in my machine. I have another month to work on it. So it will be done soon!

I have also been knitting like a fiend. I made three of these hats called Kane. Here is Andy’s made out of Madeline Tosh worsted. I think it makes him look like Opie from Son’s of Anarchy (minus the neck tattoos, prison record and gold teeth). I have also made several pairs of my friend Nancy’s Sally Gloves. I made a pair for my friend Nicole and she did a nice blog post about them. Also if you read my blog you should read Nicole’s blog. It’s really amazingly beautiful. I kind of wish she was my mom (even though she is younger then me and lives in the midwest).

Davy loves to bang on our laptop keys. Actually she likes to rip the laptops from our hands by its hinges and throw it on the floor, like Godzilla vs Mothra. We were hoping that if we got her one of her own to destroy that she will  be less interested in ours. I have a sinking feeling that this is a novice parental mistake.

Some folks have given us gift cards for the holidays.  I marched off to Target with Davy in tow to buy her a kid laptop. I know she is a bit young, but frankly she is our kid, and as a family we embrace technology.

I was standing in the kid toy department and I was a little surprised to see that kid laptops are already gender identified. Pink for girls, blue for boys. What happened to gender neutral green or just plain gray. I felt very weird about the whole thing and slightly ambivalent. I think slight ambivalence is my theme for parenthood. I feel often like I am picking between lesser evils. I picked the pink. Want to know why I piked pink? Because I remembered that Andy has a purple cover on his mac and I wanted her to match her Daddies. Gender identity in babies is a very odd and funny subject. For the record they did have some more neutral ones but they were $15 more and I am kinda cheep.

Davy’s already texting and driving.

It’s been a really crazy few weeks. The holidays always kind of stress me out. I feel like I need to constantly go out and have “fun”. I have no idea what “fun” is but I think it’s suppose to contain things that we did in ye oldie times, like ice skating on ponds and sleigh rides. I am terrified of ice skating on ponds and sleigh rides, it seems like a good way to injure or kill yourself. I also hate being cold. Actually Andy HATES being cold -hates it like poison. Davy doesn’t quite seem like a fan either. We have been taking long walks on our cold sunny days and they usually end up with my poor girl freezing her tiny Ethiopian ass off and screaming at me while squirming out of her hat, gloves, coat and stroller blanket. Good times, good times I say!

This year, Davy’s first holiday season with us, was kind of stressing me out. I mean I am a Christmas Jew, but will it totally confuse Davy? I know that now we have to pay more attention to Hanukah then we have in the past. Truly Hanukah is kind of lame. Menorahs, while pretty, somehow lack the allure of christmas lights.

However as a new mom, I am growing concerned about our Jewish identity- but still immensely skittish about organized religion. Is it enough to say to Davy- Im-a Jew your-a Jew, without anything to really back it up? I got a lot of my Jewish identity from my grandparents (Holocaust survivors), my parents and my community. For the record, I have always been a little uncomfortable with the Jewish community I grew up in; I felt like an outsider- still do. My religious/political beliefs (read that as Israel ambivalence) make me feel like an outcast. I couldn’t wait to get out of the town I was raised in. As an adult I view it differently and have more respect for West Bloomfield, Michigan and its place in the world. But it took me 25 years away from it to truly appreciate it.

Andy isn’t a Jew (though he’s a little Jewish – ha). He would say he was raised as nothing, meaning he was raised sort of half-assed-generic-southern Christian. He has no religious views, per se. He doesn’t even really care if we celebrate Christmas or Hanukah. He prefers to leave the religious angst to me. Thanks, honey.

I had a really great conversation with an old friend from high school about religion. She reminded me that showing Davy what being a Jew means doesn’t have to be that big of a deal. If I want to know the Jewish community I just need to dip my toe in where I feel comfortable. For example, we have been going to several indoor play parks in Church basements. Why not go to one at the JCC? Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. I signed us up for some Jewish books to be delivered to our house and we will take it from there.

My mom recently came over with a super excited gift for Davy. It is a menorah that celebrates the children of the world. On it there is a little Ethiopian flag and a statue of on Ethiopian boy in traditional clothes. It sums up our life pretty perfectly.

We are going to celebrate Hanukah AND Christmas every year. Our Jewish family will give her Hanukah gifts and our non-Jewish ones will give her Christmas gifts. We will also celebrate Genna, Ethiopian Christmas (in January) because it is also part of who we are as a family. We have a Christmas tree because I love them- and well let’s face it- its really pagan anyway.

When I grew up I was always told you had to be one thing – draw a line in the sand and say “this is it,” I am a Jew. My life is so much richer because I never quite bought that line of thought.

This year we are going to celebrate the holidays in the truly haphazard and random non-traditional Weisman/Beach way. In doing so we get to define the traditions that celebrate and the uniqueness that makes us a family.

Recently, my boss at my job (which I love SO much) commented that she thinks there is something really special about Davy. Well, as her mother I of coarse agree completely. Objectively there is something really unique about our girl. It’s her social skills. Developmentally she is totally on target, but socially she is really unusual. She really connects with people. She has the ability to make people feel special. She plays with kids. She shares. She loves people. She is an incredibly social animal.

Today I was with a group of mothers and they were talking about how their toddlers fought with them on every bit of change. They had a hard time transitioning from breakfast to play, from play to nap. They don’t like new people. They are having a hard time being weaned. Etc. As Davy transitions into a toddler- we may have problems in these areas (not the weaning part) but the rest. This group of mothers asked me if Davy was having issues in this area to- and I said not really.

The fist 7.5 months of Davy’s life was full of transitions. Although there is always a giant element of loss with all adoption (and I am not belittling that point at all). Davy has been loved by so many people. She has gone from place to place and the people whose lives she has touched have loved her. It think it has made her a pretty secure kid. Also the fact that she moved so much in her first year has made her be able to deal with change. I know a good part of this is just how her brain is wired. Many kids in her exact same situation may have a very different reaction. On top of it she has us for parents. Andy and I are both very social and flexible- so I think it’s something that just jelled as a family.

The folks who cared for our daughter for the fist part of her life built the blocks, we are just continuing on with what they built. Again, I feel incredibly grateful to the women in Ethiopia who cared for our daughter. I feel incredibly grateful that we get the honor of raising our kid. I don’t spend a lot of time bragging about our kid. I am so proud of our daughter. I am so in love with her and watching the person she is becoming. Just sayin’

Today our Davy turned one. To think of everything that she survived and experienced in her first year is mind blowing. We have a fair bit of information about Davy’s life before she came to us, but- as a mother- to not have experienced every moment of it- is sometimes heartbreaking. For me, this year is a little bit of bittersweet. I think about her what her birth family in Ethiopia might be feeling. It’s everyones first. Everyday, I see Davy’s biological parent’s features in my baby’s face. I feel nothing but love and gratitude that we get to raise our beautiful girl. Love and gratitude.

I was looking back on this years photos and it’s amazing to see the person she is becoming. The photos from Ethiopia don’t do her personality justice, but it’s wonderful to see how she has grown and evolved.

Davy age one: easing into toddler-dom but throwing herself on the floor and crying when she doesn’t feel like doing what we want her to do. Davy age one: a million expressions a minute. Davy age one: is the happiest baby this side of the planet (despite a few tantrums). Davy age one: tentatively walking on her own. Davy age one: wakes up in the morning with the brightest eyes and the biggest smile. Davy age one: has the sweetest voice and loves to sing to herself. Also loves to dance to any music she hears- even her mommas off key singing.Davy age one: friend to Beti, Abe, Sophia and countless others. Davy age one: so so so loved by everyone who’s life she touches. Dave age one: Beloved daughter of Bekele, beloved daughter of Andy Beach and Lisa Weisman. Beloved.

3 days old

10 days- our referral photo

6 weeks

4 months

six months

7.5 months (with daddy’s nose)

8 months

9 months

10 months

11 months

today