I haven’t been blogging lately because I have been in a pretty dark place emotionally. Davy at two and a half is total hell on wheels. I mean what else would you expect from our bright and feisty girl. We have been ramping up or the “terrible twos” but now that I am officially in them. It’s like I am living with a giant succubus who is slowly eating away at my soul. Sounds a little dramatic. Well its been a crazy long day, so what’evs.
It’s actually not the tantrums, or the whining that is getting to me. It’s her total disregard for any authority that I may have over her. I find myself YELLING. I talk loud but I am not a yeller. It’s the way I say “Come on Davy” and she takes off running in the other direction. It’s the way she can now climb out of her crib (buh bye naps). It’s the way when we try any kind of basic discipline- she just laughs in my face. This is exhausting. I am totally worried that I am raising a tiny asshole. I know its a phase, I know she is normal- if not a little extra precocious. I know this precociousness will serve her very well in life. I know this is taking up so much of my emotional energy that it leaves little for other relationships, my marriage or any tasks that don’t give me immediate joy (like cleaning). There are lots of benefits to being an older parent, but energy level- its just not one of them.
So what do you do when you are emotionally overwhelmed and physically exhausted? When you are sleeping poorly and constantly dealing with a pooping and peeing, sassy toodler. Get another dog…..
A few weeks ago I decideed it was time to get a canine pal for Miz Bella. Bella went through a period of deep mourning after Georgia died. She still howls with loneliness when we leave her alone. She has always been part of a duo and her saddens was breaking my heart.
Two weeks ago my friend Audra and her wife Loren came for a visit. Audra is a pet adoption specialist who works for the San Francisco SPCA was visiting and we had many discussions about what our future dog would look like. Andy has wanted a bulldog for years, I wanted a rescue Mutt. Must be mellow, easy, good with kids and other dogs. Last week Audra emailed me a photo and description of “Patsy” an American Bulldog mix. She is two. She was smiling with her funny teeth. Audra told me she is so good with other dogs that they use her as the dog that they train the more aggressive dogs with. She is mellow, not needy and has had a bunch of training. We knew she was our dog.
SO we took a 50 hour trip to San Francisco to go get her. Davy for the record did the car trip like a champ. The rest- not-so much. We renamed the newest member of our family Moo Shu Pork Beach. She is everything we could hope fore. She is the sweetest, most easy-going dog we know. The best part Bella LOVES her. LOVED her immediately. So there you have it. Maybe Moo will turn into a pshchopathic ax murder when she is two and a half. Probably.
Welcome Moo Shu! Maybe she’ll be a good example to Davy, too. (We can hope.)
Oh Lisa, I feel for you. Me having two 2.5 yr old, imagine Davy doubled…..I am right there with you. My days begin and end with yelling, crying, and rocking in the corner…that’s me I’m talking about not the boys. It’s sooo hard. The total disregard of listening is the absolute worst. I told my mom I thought I was raising the next set of serial killers in the making. Dramatic I know, but that’s where I’m at some days. No end in sight. I have no advice, obviously. But I feel you, I hear you and thinking of you. Stay strong. Take time for yourself if you can. Leave Davy with friends or family for a few hours, even if it’s just so you can go home and curl up on the couch with the pups, a good book and some coffee for a few hours. The quiet can be healing:)
lis, my dear, you are honest and beautiful and strong and i love you. two is just plain hard, isn’t it? but i don’t doubt for a second that with her natural exuberance and brilliance plus some seriously awesome parents, that davy is going to GO PLACES. all kinds of incredible, surprising, world-shaking places.
you’re doing good, mama.
So many huggles for you, Lisa! I’ve gone through the Terrible Twos four times and if I can survive (relatively) sane, so can you! (I started to say, “but I’m Perfectly Normal *twitch*” but I didn’t know if that was the right tack to take >.>)
Hang in there & remember this: The more ferocious she is in her Terrible Twos, the more she will be able to stand on her own two feet later and will be unlikely to fall pray to mindless authority (that’s a *good* thing, by the way ;D)!
*Hugs Again*
I have a 20 month old and I could not write a better description of her behavior right now! Yes, it is very soul sucking!! I am also an older parent (43) and I really relate to your situation. Keep blogging!! Love your new addition!