I have belonged to an organization for adoptive families who live in Oregon since before Davy came home. It’s mostly a social group who put on a few events a year. I find their Facebook page useful, but I have a pretty big community of other adoptive families and don’t particularly feel a need to “Join a group” to find people like me.

The few events that i have attend are always nice; and it’s nice to see families I haven’t seen in a while. It’s also nice for Davy to be in a gaggle of Ethiopians – I can find my people wherever I go. I am good that way. The group was very helpful when we were in process and I met a great group of waiting moms. Now that our kids have been with us for a few years, we still get together fairly often.

But a few weeks ago something happened with the group that really drove me nuts. The organization hosts a big picnic every year. It’s kind of their big event. As the event has grown, many of the expenses for the picnic have fallen on a few families (mostly board members), which i agree is wrong. 

In order to cover these expenses, they sent out some emails for a fundraiser. It didn’t just go out locally, it went out to several of the on-line Ethiopian support groups. You can bid online for the typical stuff you get at these kind of auctions, jewelry, coffee, soccer t-shirts etc. I was a little confused why we were doing such a huge fundraising effort. Was it for the kids in Ethiopia? Was it going to help other families adopt from Ethiopia? Was any of this money going to help Ethiopian immigrants living in Oregon (many of whom live in poverty). Nope. It was going to help raise funds for the picnic. A picnic that people who are attending could pay for. A picnic that while nice, isn’t necessarily doing much more then having our kids get together- which many of us do anyway. 

I made a few comments on Facebook, mostly clarifying that this money was being spent on a picnic, not on a social mission. The sale happened, so I let it go. THEN this week I see they are doing another fundraiser. That would be two fundraisers, for the same picnic. This time I made more direct comments on Facebook, stating that I didn’t understand why so much time and energy was used to raise funds for an event that is mostly attended by middle and upper middle class families. Why not just sell tickets?  I was respectful in my comments. I think that these are legitimate questions that should be answered (or at least asked). 

A board member chose to delete my comments. All. My. Comments.

Again, they were respectful, they were just asking the question “why” and giving others the option to ponder the same question. Why is this organization going through a lot of effort and time raising money for a picnic, when our kids come from a country with tremendous poverty? Why not just sell tickets? Why not ask the people who want to attend to just pay?

I understand that other groups raise funds for superfluous things, however I think when an organization tied to the adoption world, and Ethiopia in particular hosts a fundraiser, the assumption by many is that this organization is raising funds that will some way benefit Ethiopia and not just themselves. Furthermore, why would respectful comments be deleted just because a board member doesn’t agree with them?

Just something to think about. I can post it on my blog because at least it won’t be deleted here.