Davy has always been a pretty squirrely kid. She doesn’t tolerate a ton of affection. She hates the feeling of saliva on her skin. While she dolls out hugs to us and her friends she never really relaxes into her body.

There has been big changes in our girl these last few months. She seems easier. She is letting go of her need to control. It’s still there, but its getting better. She is learning to relax.

The fist time I noticed it was when we were on our camping trip. We both got up early and snuck out of the teepee. She curled up on my lap under a blanket. We stayed like that for a very long time. Quiet and still. I will never forget that moment. It took almost four years to get there, but she was there.

We have established some rituals when Andy travels. Since this summer she sleeps in bed with me when he is gone. Davy isn’t a great sleeper. She is a terrible sleeper. She tosses and turns. Her body is like hands of a clock moving though our bed. I often get kicked in the head when we sleep. We never slept with her when she was a baby for this reason (although now I know we should have). She doesn’t’ know how to quiet her body even when she is at rest.

Last night her body was very restless. She was having bad dreams, talking in her sleep. She never really seemed to make it into a deep sleep. Sometimes this happens. Not always but sometimes. I tentatively reached out and put my hand in hers. She held on to it. Slowly I scooted over and put my arm around her. I felt her relax. We slept like this for the rest of the night. Six months ago this would have never happened.