Wishes I Can’t Grant

This week we had an early 5th birthday celebration for Davy. We spent the week in Seattle while andy worked and then went to Great Wolf Lodge. On the actual day of her birthday (which is Thursday) we are keeping it very very quiet and small.

Her school does a celebration where each kid walks around the sun the amount of years they have been alive. We have to bring baby photos and tell a baby story. I had a conversation with her teacher about rituals that they perform for adopted kids. Her and Davy came up with the idea that she that Davy stops the walk half way through on her first year and the teacher says “and this is when I met mom and dad” and she continues to walk around the sun. Words cannot say how much I love that school.

This week, Davy has been super on edge. I suspect birthdays for the time being are always going to be better sweet for our girl.

Earlier this week, Davy and I stopped in front of a fountain. I immediately went to my purse and drew out two pennies. One for me and one for her. We always do this. She doesn’t even have to ask for a penny. We threw our pennies in together. She said she wished that her first mommy was still her first mommy. I told her I wished for peace in her body and mind and happiness for her next year.

It is totally heartbreaking that she can’t just hope for a My Little Pony doll like other five year olds.


3 thoughts on “Wishes I Can’t Grant

  1. I hate to ask a stupid question, but instead of My Little Pony, does Davi have any dolls that look like her?

    And don’t worry, it’s okay for her to wish that. I’m grown and still wish my father was here with me, but I can live. She will grow. You cannot take her mother’s place, but you CAN be her guide. Isn’t that just as important? Family is the people who love you, and she will learn that. So will you.

    1. She does have dolls that look like her. The only white dolls we keep are ones that were given as gifts and can’t dump (trust me we tried). The fact that she can articulate her loss, is so meaningful to me. She is so young and its so much to take in. She will realize that there is place in her heart for both of us. I tell her I love her birth mother all the time and I have to love Davy twice as much.

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