This spring we started a waiting moms group. It has been so wonderful and supportive. While we are all so different we have so much in common going through all of the ups and downs of adoption. I don’t think anyone can really truly understand it until they have gone though it. I am so glad that these women are in my life and get to share the process with them. This month THREE members of our group (there are only like 7 of us) are going to pick up their little ones from Ethiopia. I truly feel like when one of us gets to bring home their kid, we kind of all get to bring home our kids. These women are so extraordinary and brave. I am SO grateful that they are in my life. I can’t wait to meet their little ones. Many many congrats to our no longer “waiting moms”.
Our friend John made this graphic for us. The baby might look a little different than ours- but you get the picture and I think it’s a pretty funny image. The idea of waiting in line for a baby is SO WEIRD but as he said “it’s all so hard it’s good just to embrace the weird” so we are. We are actually (at last count) number 31- so we have moved up seven slots. I keep saying this – because its totally true- that this number system is so totally arbitrary. There are 31 families waiting for kids from our agency. Some are waiting for older kids, some siblings, some girls, some like us a baby- 10 fingers and 10 toes. I don’t know if knowing where you in the process is better or worse. I think if I didn’t know- it would be worse, but knowing and also knowing that there is no logic in the process is a toughie too. Our agency also said that it’s now going to be a 6-9 month wait for a referral (e.g. photo of your kid). I am hopping time moves quickly. You will know when we get “the call” because you will be able to hear my scream of joy all the way to New York. No need for phone calls! I got’s a booming voice! Andy will say in his own quiet way “yeah that’s a cute kid”. Okay True Blood is on and I am rambling. Thanks for the cool Graphic John! Hopefully we can update it when we get to the single digits 🙂
This weekend was our much anticipated yard sales. We made almost $300 bucks towards the adoption and have enough stuff left over to run another one next month. I really feel very fortunate. We have only been in Portland for a year and have accumulated really a wonderful and supportive group of friends. These folks not only donated a ton of stuff for us to sell, they also helped us organize the sale, came over and kept us company, and even started a lemonade stand (too bad we got rained out. Nothin’ like a couple of urchins hocking lemonade). All of this made me feel incredibly loved and really truly lucky that we have found such awesome folks in such a short time. Hurrah for everyone.
We jokingly put price tags on the dogs (Georgia was $5 and Bella was 50 cents). A young man we will loving refer to as Meth Mouth – truly thought that Bella was a good deal and really wanted to buy her. No, I mean really REALLY thought she was a good deal (he couldn’t figure out why Georgia was so much more money). The meth obviously affected his sense of sarcasm. Sadly Bella has the WORST taste in men and totally would have gone home with him. After my conversation with him- where I stated firmly that they WERE NOT for sale. We put them inside for a while. Better safe than sorry.
My second favorite thing: I decided to finally part with the book “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” which I thought was ironic because it was an adoption sale. It obviously hadn’t worked for us. The person who bought it was a man wearing that t-shirt of the three wolves howling at the moon. You know it. Yup. I have said it once I will say it again. Hope it works for you fella!
My Scottish friend Gillian parting with her Scottish girl doll. You can tell she was sad to see it go.
Bella REALLY asking to be stolen by Mr. Meth Mouth
The weekend was a smashing success! So much fun and I really loved being surrounded by our friends. We shut down the yard sale early (started raining). Had a beer (one of the 10 reasons why adoption is funner than pregnancy- and yes is said funner) and then headed over to the Ethiopian Adoptive Family of Oregon summer picnic. It was wonderful to see all the kids and talk to the parents. THEN we got to watch Mad Men. Can it BE a better weekend. Oh now I am eating a cookie.
I haven’t updated in a while. Lots has been going on! We sent our Dossier to Holt on my 39th Birthday- July 22. They approved it on July 26 and at that point we were officially “on the list”. This means that we might get a referral (e.g. kid) anytime- but really more like 4-5 months. Our agency Holt- gives people a number so they have an idea of how many people are also waiting and where you are on the list. We are #38. However this is a kind of random number because it lumps all the families together (folks waiting for older kids, siblings, specific genders). Families waiting for older kids actually have to wait a lot shorter then folks like us who want a wee baybay. Numbers aside we still have a good 4 month wait in front of us until we hear anything.
In the mean time- we are in the process of doing the immigration part of the adoption process. We have to do this after we finish the dossier- so I just sent in the first form the I-600a (catchy title I know). We did get a notice that they got it in the mail. Now we are waiting for our fingerprint appointment from the Feds. The problem is- is that Mom is going away for 5 weeks and it will TOTALLY be when our appointment is! Bah! Nothing is easy in this process. I was assured that it’s pretty easy to change. I am just anxious about any more delays in this process. After our finger prints are processed and Home Land Security says we can be parents- we can legally accept an orphan. In theory all of this happens before you get a referral- its just all a waiting game now.
Also- we found out this weekend that we have to move. It’s okay- and our landlords are really wonderful people- who really wanted to make sure that us moving wasn’t going to fuck up the adoption. They want to sell the house and would like us out by early spring. When I called Holt- they said it should be okay once we get a referral and passed the immigration stuff. I think it will be okay. I kind of love proper North Portland and St. John’s so we will look there. It will just be our 5th house since 2007! You think I would be good at moving by now! Or more minimal in our taste of furniture. Sadly we are neither…..we do consistently find fabulous places to live in- so I aint too worried. Mostly it just feels like we are hemorrhaging money.