This week the State Department issued this warning in regards to Ethiopian adoptions. It means that there are current plans to cut the amount of adoptions down by 90%. From 40 cases a day to five. For the record, I totally agree that there has to be move oversight for adoptions. The Ethiopia adoption program has gown so much that it is good that they are concerned for the welfare of their kids. I am glad. Also there are some nefarious agencies out there that do some nefarious stuff. Things like baby selling, baby steeling, telling parents their kids are going to be “educated abroad” and they are unknowingly being adopted by western families.

I feel really confident in our agency and the really awesome work they do in Ethiopia. That is why we chose them- they are major players and have managed to continue adoption programs in countries where a lot of agencies have closed shop (e.g. China and Korea- because the wait is so long).

All that said- I am totally freaking the fuck out. I spoke to our social worker and she was confident that this would be resolved. She kind of laughed at me for balling my eyes out on the phone. She laughed in the same kind of way Andy laughs at me when I am being a little crazy. It felt nice- but I am still worried.  There are a TON of rumors on all of the message boards. Some say that they are going to increase the numbers back to 20 cases a day (a 50% increase) some say it will take another year until our kids can come home. I am hoping that the truth is somewhere in the middle. Our agency saids us daily reports but they don’t really know how this is going to impact our kids or the Ethiopia program. That’s the problem- nobody knows – or if they know nobody is saying.  It’s driving me fucking insane. Hello Adoption Roller Coaster. Thanks for the peaks- I think we are about to go down another hill again.

On another note- last weekend was Davy’s baby shower. It was a truly magical weekend. I felt so lucky and loved to have so many people in my corner rooting for us. It was wonderful to watch old friends mingle with new friends. We have been in Portland less then 24 months and it was overwhelming the amount of people who came out to wish us well. I feel lucky and loved. Davy is loved, Andy is loved, mom is loved. We are surrounded by some pretty magnificent people.

Also we got an updated health report on Davy. She is happy and growing. It says that she “laughs a lot” (she is my daughter). She also “Cries when the nannies leave her” which is good because she is attaching. Right now the care center in Durame Ethiopia is her home. I know she is being taken care of and I know she is lucky to be loved by so many people, both here and in Ethiopia.  We also had some really wonderful and surprising news- my friend was in Ethiopia picking up her kid and she briefly saw Davy! She was touring the infant room and saw Davy’s Ethiopian name on her crib. She said she recognized her from her GIANT eyes, Head FULL of Curly hair and her lovely pointy chin. She tickled her tummy and Davy smiled. Also Davy’s crib neighbor is my dear friends daughter! They are totally buddies! I LOVE that. I LOVE that our daughters are starting out their lives in the same place. What an amazing connection those two will have.

So yeah- it’s been an emotionally exhausting week. Such wonderful news about our Davy. Such worrisome news about what is happening in Ethiopia. Truly I don’t know where to put my emotions right now. I do know that I am SO grateful to my family and friends for such wonderful support. Keeping Calm and Carrying On has never been my strong suit. The Calm part still eludes me. I am trying to celebrate the good. I am hoping that this gets resolved in a why that brings our kids the happy and joyful life the deserve. I hope this process doesn’t emotionally break me.