Daily Archives: March 23, 2011

A Million Emotions in a Day

Today I woke up, checked my email a million times. Called Holt. No court date. The staff at Holt actually said there weren’t any given today at all. I am sick to death of constantly being hopeful and then disappointed. I am a big girl- but yeah- i am getting concerned about not ever having a court date. I am sick of the forever waiting. I am tired of this process. I need some movement. Then I texted my friend who is also waiting for a court date to let her know that there were no dates today. Adoption low= no court date

Then I went knitting with my friend Jenna. We are a “knitting group”. She is good and fun company. While there we got updated photos of Davy! To say that she is amazingly beautiful child is an understatement. I wasn’t expecting or even hoping for more photos. There they were. There she was staring at us. Her eyes are giant. GIANT. She has a ton of hair. Her face is filling out and she has huge cheeks. A chin I can’t wait to gobble up. I always joke that she is way prettier then if we had a biological child. My friend Jenna laughed and agreed. Andy and I are cute- but not Tyra Banks America’s Next Top Model Pretty. Thats our Davy. She Smizes. I am thrilled that she is doing so well. Goodness she is a beautiful girl. We are in trouble. Deep deep trouble. Adoption high= unexpected photos.

When I was with Jenna my friend called (the one who is also waiting on a court date). Holt had made a mistake. She has a court date. She knows how I feel. We had just talked the night before about what would happen IF one of us got a court date and the other didn’t. Well it happened. I just burst out into tears. A bittersweet moment. I am thrilled for my friend. Feeling like crap for us. Jenna got to see ALL the emotions. The joy of seeing Davy grow up and the anger and frustration of being left behind. Adoption low= others traveling to see their kids while we are not. Adoption high= getting hugged by a friend when you really need it.

Recently a friend reminded me that adoption isn’t a straight line. In this country we like organization. Things more or less happen in a linear fashion. Things aren’t linear in Ethiopia. Things are linear in adoption. Understanding and respecting the process doesn’t’ make it any easier. Holt is going to check to see what the hold up is. They said it was probably a document that needed retranslating. That is usually the case. Random bureaucracy is keeping us from our girl. Do you know what I hate? Random bureaucracy. Hate it like poison. Adoption low= stupid fucking bureaucracy.

I decided that I didn’t need to lock myself in my craft room. I need to be out. It was an usually sunny day. I called my friend Lori. She invited me over. She was watching her son and two other kids. There was a whole gaggle of kids out and playing. It was a great day. I stayed at Lori’s for dinner with her family. After dinner her son was unusually spazzy and spontaneously danced a jig. A crazy smily manic jig. A hilarious jig. It made me laugh. It made me laugh uncontrollably. It made his mom laugh. I needed to laugh. I really did. Adoption high= Abe Rooney’s crazy dancing self, wonderful supportive group of friends and family, my husband, our beautiful daughter, two funny dogs, a creative outlet, the wonderful and unexpected people we have met on the way to bringing Davy home. If you count the positives today was a pretty great day. So that’s what I am choosing to do. Good night.