Gender Gap

We have been going to the Playground Gym since Davy was a year old. It’s a great place and has definitely helped with her physical development. She loves the teachers and we have made some good buddies while we have been there. Every season the class dynamics change because big kids get moved up, people schedules change or other folks just drop out.

So today was the first day that we came back. Out of the class there were 10 boys and two girls. One being the older sister of a younger kid who semi participated and the other being Davy. For me, three and four year old boys are kind of the enemy. They are big and rambunctious and usually don’t pay a lot of attention to two year old girls. Davy was trampled twice. A mom comes with both of her kids and one is much older then the class allows. He creates a little bit of a problem because he is HUGE and really isn’t paying much attention to what’s going on around him. He bonked her pretty hard. Hard enough that I had to remove her because she was crying so hard. It was totally an accident, but I think in a class that is suppose to max out at 3 year olds, its inappropriate for him to participate. The teachers are awesome and are totally on top of it, but still. Stuff happens. After Davy calmed down, I encouraged her to join in again. She literally got pushed out of the way by two other little boys which cause another melt down.

I made some comment about how todays class is totally filled with crazy boy energy. The teachers heard me and did a girl only round of activities, but at that point Davy was totally over it. She cried and didn’t participate at all. She usually loves that class. Also she is a pretty tough cookie. She usually doesn’t have these kinds of melt downs and she can get in there with the best of them. I just think the energy of the class today was a little overwhelming.

However it does give me a bit of concern, only because I am starting to see the differences in how boys and girls are approached so young. There is a grandma in the class (who I can’t stand) she looked at Davy and said “You better toughen up girl”. I resisted to punch her and say “You better make sure your kids doesn’t become a giant douche bag”. But I digress. The question is, should I expect her to emulate their aggression or should I expect them to be more sensitive to her needs? I know what the answer is but it kind of bums me out.

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6 thoughts on “Gender Gap

  1. Blarg, I hate this stuff. No useful advice alas, except that I hate the people who say “boys will be boys”. Kids need to learn to be more considerate! (It takes a freaking long time, but still.)

  2. So personally I think it’s a healthy balance of both. Having two boys now, I totally see that I ( and my husband) need to teach them that although they are boys and like to be crazy they need to know their surroundings and environment..so basically where it’s appropriate to be crazy and where it’s not. Especially if there are younger or smaller kids around. But one of my boys is also a sensitive soul so I’m also trying to encourage him to be a little more assertive and when someone does something he doesn’t like to let them know. It’s such a HARD balance. So I guess what I’m trying to say is YES they should be more considerate to your precious girl. But don’t be afraid to teach her how to let them know ( in a healthy way, not in an aggressive way) that they need to watch what they are doing around her. I would have no problem with another kid putting my boys in check if they were not being considerate, but I’d be there to make sure they were. Ok off my soap box.

  3. Well now. As a mother of FOUR very much Boy Boys, all I can say is if one of MY boys was getting out of hand and not respecting boundaries, you’d better believe I’d be intervening. The two youngest didn’t get to go to the store with me/us for years ’cause if they didn’t behave there, I refused to take them with me. (I realize that sometimes that is not an option, but in the case of play gym, yeah.)

    So, my take is there aren’t so much Boys Will Be Boys as there are Parents are Crap, sometimes. And you have to deal with it with the best grace you can whilst explaining to Davy all along that there isn’t anything wrong with her or her feelings. Or something like that.

  4. Knowing first-hand how rough-and-tumble Davy is, I’d march straight to the manager/owner to let him/her know what is going on in the class, that rules are being broken (the older kid coming) and that the teachers are not handling it well. I mean, I wouldn’t want the teachers to get in trouble for it, but they should really be more on top of it, and the owner needs to strickly enforce the rule about only kids under the age of 3 allowed. It’s ridiculous, no matter how nice the parent (and kid) is, that a huge rough-and-tumble ‘big kid’ is coming. I’m all incensed for you right now.

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