First of all. I got a new camera! I am so excited about it. I had a panasonic Lumix, that I got in 2005. I love it, but the lens is really getting beat up and I have been wanting to play with depth of field and the Lumix wasn’t doing it for me. I wanted to upgrade to a DSLR. Andy’s brother had one (Nikon D90) and was willing to trade Andy for a laptop. It was like the gift of the Magi. I was going to sell my hair for an external hard drive and Andy was going to sell his laptop for a digital SLR….oh wait a minute…

Now we have depth of field. Yay! And yes, I did make that sweater.

Here is a better picture of the sweater:

A couple of weeks ago I went to the Pendelton outlet with my friend Gillian. I picked up these three giant blanket scraps (they weighed 5 pounds). I sewed them together and then lined the blanket as a gift for Andy. He gets cold (being from the South) and often complains that the afghans I make aren’t big enough. He has been requesting a “Man-ghan). I am too lazy to knit one, but still he likes it a lot! It’s crazy warm, crazy crazy warm.

Andy patiently explaining to Davy what NOT going to share means

I also made a bunch of binky holders. Davy loves her Binkies and the holders we got at Target were getting kind of gross from being dragged along. Also you can’t put them in the wash. These are washable and we can color coordinate with her outfits (yes I admitted I do that).


Binky holder in use

Otherwise Davy girl is doing great. She is SO ready to walk. She has been standing on her own and pushing off starting to walk. Her independent streak is truly amazing. We started taking music classes and she loves to dance and clap her hands. Also we have her in driver ed.

Don’t worry we won’t let her drive drunk

Recently I answered a post for someone wanting to learn to crochet. She would pay me in fresh eggs. I answered the add (saying I wasn’t much of a crocheter but I would try to teach her the basics). The conversation veered towards our kids (I met her through a parents group and we were communicating via email, and hadn’t met). We both have kids the exact same age. My immediately felt the need to write “our daughter is 10 months old but we are an adoptive family and she has only been home 2 1/2”. Then I thought – wow is it that important that I say that? Nope not really.

The issue is that I feel kind of like a fraud. I haven’t been a parent for 10 months. I have been a parent for 2.5 months. I wonder when that feeling starts going away. We are “new” parents to an older baby. On the outside, we look like we have been together forever. I feel like we have been together forever. We are a family. We know each other, we know how to make each other laugh, Davy is a really really happy baby. It means we MUST be doing something right. Right? I have to remind myself constantly that even though we are new parents- everyone is a new parent in a way because these kids change so fast. I have no idea how to parent a new born baby, but at 10 months. I think we are doing okay.

I feel like I might still have some post-traumatic adoption syndrome. The waiting, the pain of the adoption is still so raw that it makes me feel like I need to wear it as a badge of honor. I want to tell everybody–we went through this really really hard thing, and look at us. We are happy. She is home. We are all okay. We are all so in love.

We traveled with a dear family in May. Their kid’s aren’t home yet, caught up in the stupid bureaucratic nightmare that is international adoption. They are hoping and praying their kids will be home by Christmas. Christmas! I am so invested in their kids coming home because I understand their pain so so so much. These kids need to come home to their forever family. Our dear friends need to be able to heal from the pain that is their adoption process. I am so invested in their kids coming home because I feel like, when they do, as some point we will be able to shut this door on the last two years of our lives. So if your a praying type (I am not, but I am a knitting type- so that is what I am doing). Please send all of your positive thoughts and vibes and prayers to our dear friends Mike and Erika Sosna and their beautiful loved boys, Levi and Aaron.

Here is a photo of Davy (with runny nose) and her Levi stand in:

Andy had some meetings in Salt Lake City so we packed up the kid and took a wee trip. SLC was very weird, definitely a “company town”. The nature part was really breathtaking. Also traveling with Davy was both wonderfully fun and totally challenging. She did great in the car, loved seeing new things and loved charming locals. Sleep was tricky. I think it was a combo of sleeping a lot in the car, and then her routine being a little messed up. Overall though- I think the trip was very successful. We went swimming everyday. I took her to a lake and watching her explore the shoreline might have been my favorite part of a mother so far.

Here are some pix from our trip

Keeping Davy occupied

Literally two seconds later

Somewhere in Eastern Oregon

We got in trouble here

Really your not suppose to throw your kid into a giant pile of stuffed sheep? Really?

Or get pimped out with Daddy?

Lunch in Idaho

r-n-r

We took a tram up to the top of Snowbird Mountain, 11000 above sea level. Kinda like Addis.

I love this photo

We went for a splash at Jordanell State Park.

Then we went to Temple Square and looked at religious stuff

yeah, yeah, Davy I feel the SAME

um, Jesus seems a little, uh, pale

On the way home we stopped at Shoshemme Falls in Idaho- they were amazingly beautiful

We also managed to scare the living shit out of our kid (although this photo makes me laugh)

superhero pose!

I started knitting again. It seems like I have been prolific, but the projects have been super easy. The white sweater and the pink pants were on giant needles. It feels really really good though. Now I need to get back to my sewing… but that can wait.

I am totally obsessed with baby leg warmers. It’s because they are totally non-committal clothing. Trying to get clothing on Davy is kind of like trying to put underpants on a cat, so these are easy on and easy off. The green ones are for a friend. The pink sparkly ones, well we are totally keeping those!

Lil’ Flashdancer.

Tonight we have a very special guest blogger- Mr. Andy Beach is going to tell his side of the story

Tonight was not a good night. It might have been the most gross night of my adult life. Really disgusting. Epically disgusting.

note from Andy: While it was very disgusting, I’m not sure it qualifies as the grossest, though the smell was something i will take to my grave.

Today was a beautiful day in Portland. It’s warm and sunny. Tomorrow its suppose to go up to 90 degrees which makes people out here freak out. It’s about as hot as it gets. We have all of these adorable little dresses. We never really put Davy in them because its a little cold here. Today, because of the sunshine and because I was feeling sunny and optimistic we put Miz Davy in one of those super cute summer dresses. It’s part onsey (has snaps) and part dress. It was (I say WAS) bright green. It had a dragon fly on it. The three of us are going to Salt Lake City next week and I was telling Andy that it’s the perfect little outfit for her to travel in- when it’s hot out.

We had a plan, we were going to go to Target and then out for Vietnamese food. Here is what happened in Target. Davy shat all over herself AND because there wasn’t really anything to hold it “in” no shorts, no pants, she shat all over the shopping cart. Here is how we discovered it. Davy got quiet and then she looked at us sheepishly. I smiled back sheepishly. Then Andy started screaming “Oh MY GOD OH MY GOD What what wa wha wha OH MY GOD- what what do we do?” Me, “I Don’t know? Just leave her here’? Go back to Ethiopia for another child? I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO”. We were obviously past rational at this point. It was really bad. Also because Davy is a wiggle worm, she was rolling around it, it was up her leg, on her hands, on her shoes. ALL OVER the poor innocent shopping cart. Everywhere.

note from Andy: I don’t recall actually screaming, though the fumes may be effecting my memory. We were a lllooonnnggg way from the bathroom and really did have to have a discussion about where it was best to change her in the car, in the bathroom, or just go back to ethiopia and start over.

We ran to the front of the store. Avoiding eye contact of all the people. We were giggling hysterically at this point. Actually so was Davy. She just didnt know why, just that her parents had clearly lost their minds. We went to the front of the store. I grabbed a ton of target shopping bags. I wrapped DAvy up in the bags and carried her to the restroom. Andy was stuck dealing with the cart. Davy got her first bath in the Target bathroom. She thought it was neat. After a comprehensive wipe down, change of clothing, our girl was as good as new. Frankly our meltdown was worse then hers (her’s came later).

note from andy: I was standing in a heavily trafficked hallway near two very popular water fountains trying to clean feces. at some point a guy was getting really eggy because i couldn’t let him past so i stood back and let him pass right through. The surprise on his face when he saw the cart plus the smell hit him was almost worth it.

I went to the woman’s department, bought a new t-shirt (cause mine was covered in baby shit). She got a new pair of socks (note to self- bring socks in her go bag next time). We fed her dinner at the starbucks in Target, then we had Vietnamese food as planned (I was dubious, but Davy was fine- she just really doesn’t like Vietnamese food).

note from Andy: Im giving Davy the benefit of the doubt here – she had a full meal sitting at target (where I by the way needed a slushy to call my nerves – frozen courage, we’ll say). I think she’ll come around to vietnamese food. If she doesn’t, she’s going to be disappointed a lot when we go out to eat.

As for the shopping cart? Andy wiped it down and handed it to a teenage boy who works at Target. Poor Poor kid. He doesn’t know what was about to hit him.

note from Andy: In retrospect, I wish i’d given him a $20 too…

Moral of the story: Don’t feed your kid homemade baby food with highly fibrous Khol Rabi two meals in a row.

note from Andy: I’m with you on that one, Lisey.

My parents are divorced. They have been divorced since I was 15. What is unusual about my story is that my grandparents (on both sides) were also divorced. As a kid I had 4 grandmothers and 2 grandfathers. On my dads side: Grandpa David (Davy’s namesake and my dad’s dad) Grandma Sophie (Grandpa David’s wife), Grandma Lena (Dad’s mom) and Grandpa Sam (Grandma Lena’s husband). Mom had Grandma Leah (Mom’s mom) and Grandma Belle (Mom’s stepmom). That is a heck of a lot of grandparents for one person.

My dad married Adela almost 25 years ago. Adela has 2 kids and they have two kids- four grandkids in total (on her side)- need a chart yet? These grandkids absolutely adore my father and love him dearly. My step sibs all live in Michigan and dad sees them a lot. At some point I was visiting Michigan and it occurred to me that the upside of the pain of divorce is that all of these kids get more grandparents to love on them when they get older. It’s really true. My grandma Sophie and I were SO close growing up. We had such a bond. It never really occurred to me that she was a “step” grandparent until someone pointed it out to me in my 20s!

So when it comes to grandparents our Davy girl is a lucky ducky. My mom and her are already SO close. My mom has been with us from day one in this process. She has cried when I cried and celebrated all of our joy. She knows a ton of adoptive families and for her, adoption has become the new norm. She has been an intrinsic part of Davy’s life since we got home. Her and Davy LOVE each other. My mom can literally spend hours just watching Davy bang on stuff in her play room (now dubbed Disneyland- cause of all of the toys there). Mom offers (not quite altruistically) to babysit on the weekend so she can come over and hang with our girl. They are so funny and sweet together.

Andy’s parents live in Atlanta and are yet to be able to come out. They have also been super supportive of our adoption. They had actually considered adoption when they were building their family and it’s something close to their heart. When we told them we were adopting Andy’s parents were laughably the least surprised out of any of our parents. Their response was “of course you are”. We are going to travel out east over Thanksgiving. Davy will meet the Beach side of her family then. Andy’s grandmother Davy’s GREAT Grandmother lives in rural West Virginia and we are going to spend some time there. Oy vey.

My Dad had the hardest time accepting the adoption. I knew (always did) that he would come around. Us Weisman’s don’t like change very much. Also, he really had to go through the mourning of the loss of his bloodline. We started the adoption process not so long after my grandfather David passed away, and all of that is really important to him. It’s just me and my brother and Jay doesn’t have any kids yet. He also has had the least bit of exposure to adoptive families. I have to say that my stepmother Adela really had a lot to do with him coming along. She poked and prodded him to accept our family. He spoke to lots of his friends and found out (shock and awe) that happy families come in all shapes and sizes. His resistance to the adoption didn’t last long- it really really didn’t. He was on board in just a few short months. I don’t mean to over dramatize this story, or even under dramatize it. It’s just an example of acceptance. And now, well let’s just say our Davy has her wrapped around her tiny perfect little finger.

Also- for me yet another miracle of adoption. Jack Weisman, who was born in Poland during the heart of World War 2, escaped Nazis, lived in a DP camp, moved to the United States. His story is a miracle of survival. He survived some pretty horrific stuff so that 60 years later he could hold his beautiful granddaughter, born in Ethiopia, who lived in an orphanage and then came to the United States where she is, now, the apple of her grandfathers eye.

Wanna know what happened when Grandpa Jack and Grandma Adela met Davy, it was a pretty darn glorious weekend in our sweet girls life:

Knish
Dinku
Davy Dinku
Dav-a-la
France Ford Dav-a-la
Davydu
Davy Duke
Daisy Duke
Mrs. Short Shorts
Tiny Dancer
JimmyLegs
Sweet Potato
Sweet Potato Pie
Sweet Potato Knish
Po-TAT-to
Ketesla (yiddish for kitten-what my grandfather used to call me)
Ketsle
Dovidel
Super Tush
The Girl (as in The Girl Puts the Lotion in the Basket)

When teething:
Sybil
Psycho Killer Keska Say Fafa fa fa fafafa
Drool bug

And finally, Jazz Hands Beach (as seen in this video)

So we have been going out a bunch with our girl. She is doing great, we limit it to a trip a day otherwise she gets over tired and refuses to sleep. We have been getting our first taste of what it’s like to be a transracial family. Mostly people look at her, look at us, then look at her. Many many many people comment on how beautiful she is, cause she is indeed a beauty. Sometimes if there is one of us, they automatically assume that one of us is African American and look a little suprised when me or Andy show up. Sometimes people do say boneheaded things- but mostly its because they don’t quite know how to ask the question in a PC way. My favorite has been “where did you get her” I of coarse answered sarcastically “either Wal-Mart or Target- I forgot which one”.

I have a friend- with a very Jewish-sounding name who is an adoptee from Ecuador. People ask her all the time where she is from-her response is consistently “Long Island”. If they press she will say “Massapequa”. She has no shame about where she is from, it’s a game she likes to play. Just because people ask- doesn’t mean you have to tell them.

This weekend we went to the Portland Museum of Art. There is an antique car show going on there and Andy really wanted to see it. I- on the other hand- referred to it as a very expensive diaper change- because Davy had a blow out and I spent a long time in the bathroom trying to wipe poop up from every surface imaginable. It was a very nice bathroom though. Anyway we got lots of the looks, looking at Davy, smiling, looking at us, smiling. I don’t for a second believe that all these stares are negative, just curious. I always notice transracial families when I am out. I would smile. It’s really okay. When we were at the museum an older woman came up to me and said the most beautiful thing- she just said “well she must be just the biggest blessing to your family”. The way she said it gave me goosebumps. She really really meant it and could tell that we felt that she is indeed a blessing.

We have been home almost 3 weeks with our wee girl. Things are progressing nicely. The bonding thing is going better then I could have expected. The one consistency in Davy’s life was that she experienced love- so it is easy for her to accept it and give it. I am not kidding myself that our attaching is “done”, but it is going better then expected. She smiles when she sees us. She looks for us across the room. She is throwing tantrums. All good signs. We are also attaching to her. I am not going to lie when I say its harder then I thought. I think it’s better to be honest about it. People come back from adoption and refuse to admit how hard it can really be. We have waited, longed, sobbed for this little being for so long- that we hate to admit that its hard. But guess what? All major life changes are hard! These little beings come to us as mostly formed human beings, with their own quirks and personalities. They aren’t blank slates. We are all figuring each other out. It’s a fun/exhausting puzzle.

We have been taking Davy out more. We have met friends, gone for dinner, play dates and to the park. It has been great. Andy and I are not the “stay at home” kind of people so its good to finally bring her a long. She has been great. One of the things that I like most about our girl- and ironically the thing I was most worried about- is that she is a little shy. It takes her a while to warm up to people- to show them her crinkly nosed smile. I like that she has to suss people out. I like that she is secure enough not to be needy.

This week we went on a play date with Sophia Zimmerman. Sophia is Davy’s buddy from her care center in Durame. Actually her best buddy. Sophia’s parents met Davy before we did. Their court trip was about a month before ours. Sophia wasn’t warming up to Toby (her dad), so the nannies brought Davy out to make Sophia jealous.It totally worked and Sophia warmed right up to her papa. The nannies couldn’t believe that these little girls would grow up together since they did everything together. They were besties. I love that they knew each other before they even knew us. So this week we went to Forest Grove to see Sophia. Did they remember each other? I don’t know. All I DO know is that they saw each other- Sophia immediately ripped the binky out of Davy’s mouth and Davy hit her. So maybe they did. There was something familiar and primal about that little interaction.

Also Davy has been spending oodles of time with my mom. Davy is mom’s first grandchild and I think its love at first sight for those too. Mom and Davy make quite the pair and she is SUCH a proud grandma. I love watching them together.

Finally- the thing that has been hardest is that I haveen’t had much of a creative outlet since we got home. I have seriously knit a half of hat. I did make Davy a few nifty little things (now that we are on a “nap” schedule.) I say “nap” because it is just that a “nap”. She is usually down for 45 minutes. I did manage to whip out a few little headbands and a little neck hanky that catches her copious amount of drool. She is wearing that in the photo with Sophia. It feels really really good to make stuff and Davy is quite the little fashionista.
So far week 2.5 has been really really fun.