I have been a total bitch. Yup. I am publically admitting it. I have been extra grumpy to Andy, I have been short with close friends, I have been getting into angry political debates on facebook. I am not really myself these days. I am depressed and feeling a little angry. Depressed because Davy is still in Ethiopia (it’s only been a month for crying out loud), depressed because I am really not doing what I want to be doing with my life. I am depressed because my life feels a little teensy empty the sweetest girl on the earth in our lives every day. I am temping. I don’t want to be here. It is also making me angry and annoyed. I am trying to deflect with humor, but I think it might be a little more biting than usual.
I am so ready for this to be over with. I am sick to death of waiting or those Tuesday updates from our adoption agency. I am tired of not knowing when we get to bring our girl home and start our forever with her.
I am trying to make amends with the people, trying to be extra nice to Andy. On Saturday I made him bacon. I called it the Bacon of Regret, salted with my tears of unhappines, bla bla bla . I am trying to keep myself busy and distracted. I am also just trying to give myself a little break. When you are running a marathon the last few miles are the hardest (so I have heard).
So yeah, If you talk to me, and I really don’t sound like myself- it’s because I am really not. I am taking appointments for happy hour though…