Last 48

 

Since my “water broke” on Thursday we have been in quite the tizzy. Since we had nothing set up or planned you can imagine we have been quite busy. We have also been total stress cases. Wanna know how much last minute tickets cost to Ethiopia? $6000.00 (for two tickets). Yeah. I am saying this because I know there are people who are waiting to go, and this is just a warning. Last month when we were there (I have been missing a good cup of coffee), tickets were literally half that- and that is what we had budgeted for this trip. Andy and I typically don’t fight. We bicker, but very rarely fight. We had a big one on Friday. Epically big fight on Friday. Do you know why? We are stressed out as all get out. We are fine now. Really fine, but we both had to react in our own ways. For those who don’t know Andy he is the most stoic man alive. Nothing ruffles his feathers, except the idea of having to spend six grand to go pick his daughter up and make that decision NOW. Do you know what stresses me out? Not being able to plan and organize. People don’t often talk about money issues on the blogs. I get it- its very personal. I just needed to get that off my chest. We are lucky. We have plenty of family who were able to help us get our act together. Grandparents who just want their little ones home as much as we do.

 

Also when we moved here we really didn’t know anyone. That was just 2 summers ago. I feel beyond lucky and loved to have so many people in our lives to count on during this time. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. I am crying a little just thinking about it. Friday night after Andy and I said some ugly words to each other, I went to Lori’s house. She fed me, made me a few drinks and let me yell, cry, laugh, worry and vent all sitting there calmly. Then we made a small and practical list off all the crap that we need. Really not so bad. Just don’t forget the children’s motrin. Laura and Amy answered all of my calls and texts about what kind of bottles we need, how many diapers to bring (we are bringing 90- in case she has giardia), what to expect for the birth parent meeting etc. They answered them right away regardless of the time of the day. They both have brought home little ones in the last month and are usually awake).

 

Yesterday, I went to costco with Lori to buy diapers, formula and wipes. Then I went to Bella Stella (fancy kids resale shop) and picked up some plastic covers for her diapers to use on the airplane. Also- Davy has no pants. She has 26 one-sys, 17 sleepers, a million and one sweaters but literally 6 pairs of pants. Mom picked some up and I got a few (with ruffles on the butts) from Fred Myers. I also got baby food and rice cereal.

 

I came home and our dear friends Ari and Anne had come over to help Andy assembly the crib and changing table. Andy and Ari worked on it in their quiet way while Anne and I worked on some Bedroom decor. Andy had made these totally adorable pictures. He used fabric and then cut out pictures on top of it. Anne and I made 1 and totally screwed up about a million of them. I did sew a little panel out of really sweet Ikea fabric. We are totally “putting a bird on it”.

 

At some point in between Fred Meyer and Bella Stella I started thinking about the last few years. I was thinking about sending our adoption agency some sort of gift. I love our social worker, but have never met the Holt staff in Eugene Oregon. These woman who have to deal with tears and happiness every day. These people who can be your best friend or your worst enemy in a seconds notice. They give you good news, they give you bad news. I was thinking about sending them flowers or chocolate or something. I wanted to tell them- to convey to them how grateful I am that they were so instrumental in helping our family become whole. If we had gone with another adoption agency, we couldn’t get to be parents to Davy. Life is that random. Flowers just won’t cut it, but finally, sitting in the car, the weight of all of these last 21 months of adoption just fell away. I cried and cried. I was alone- but totally not alone at that instant. I had our friends who have rallied around us for years. I have my mom who cries when I cry and will teach me to become a great mom, but example. I have Andy’s parents. Andy’s dad just called me today to tell me he loves me and loves that I am married to his son. I have my dad and stepmother, who stepped up when we really needed them. My father with his history of holocaust will teach Davy how to honor and respect her past and about her new Jewish heritage. We have Davy’s great grandparents, David, Sophie, Leah, Lina, Sam, Claude, Nita and Cliff Sr.- who she will never get to meet. Her surviving great Grandmother Anna Lee, whoshe will meet this fall- at Thanksgiving- and boy do we have a lot to be thankful for.  All the aunts and uncles and cousins. I said last night that it really has “taken a village” to bring this girl home, as trite as that sounds. We need our village. I am so grateful and happy that we have this village of people to be here with us on this journey. I am ready now. Ready to bring her home. Yeah, lets go.

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4 thoughts on “Last 48

  1. Go get your girl. Beautify written ( as usual). Thank you for just putting it all out there. Talking “out in public” about finances and real feelings, even fights is true heart.
    May your journey be a blessing.
    Your daughter is one lucky little girl. I am sure you’ll both be great parents. You’ll fall down like the rest of us, but I am learning more and more…it takes a village. I (we)look forward to getting to know all of you and you all knowing my tribe too. I think we’d have some fun.

  2. All of us in Durham will be thinking of you this week as you bring your Davy home. Don’t worry about having stuff. As someone told me before I had Sam (which is equally applicable to adoptive parents), babies really only need four things: something to eat, somewhere to sleep, something to cover their butt, and you. Everything else gets worked out as needed.

  3. Good Lord! I don’t check your blog for a few days and I come back to AMAZING NEWS!!!!! I just can’t believe you will finally have your daughter home. Im so happy for you and your hubby. Literal tears of joy:) Good luck on your travel! So cant wait to see the pics of when she gets home!

  4. Have a safe and wonderful trip! I am an international adoptee and was adopted back in 1987. My parents were able to wait for me at the airport… I guess quite a lot has changed!

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