It hasn’t been that long since we heard from our agency and we are still waiting for any news or updates. I am still feeling sad, but a little better. I was explaining to my friend the other day that I was worried that maybe we weren’t meant to be parents. This path has been SO hard. Biology has failed us, and this adoption seems to allude us. My friend is also an adoptive mother and has been through this roller coaster once and is in the process of going through it again. She said she didn’t want to tell me it would be “fine” because she wanted to acknowledge that I don’t feel like it will be “fine”. It’s my feeling we are talking about- not necessarily the reality of our situation. I have never been pregnant or lost a biological baby, but that’s what it felt like when we had to put our adoption on hold a year ago and to a lesser degree this time. It’s only better because we are so much farther along in the process. Maybe just the month of January is really sucky for the Weisman-Beach family.
Logically, statistically I know we will get our kid in the end. But last week it was starting to feel like it isn’t in the cards. For the record, I am doing better. I am keeping busy. My mood has improved. I am so glad that January is half way over. I say let time fly.
When I told Andy that I was starting to worry that maybe parenthood wasn’t going to happen for us. He reminded me that nothing in our lives has been “easy”. We are major risk takers when it comes to life. We have moved a lot. We have had emotional and financial ups and downs. Our life has never been a straight line to happiness and security. I am so happy and grateful for that. Our life is interesting and unexpected. Consequently, when things are quiet and uneventful- Andy and I are really appreciative of that. We LOVE our lazy Sundays. We LOVE random trips to Target and Ikea. Andy likes to remind me of that when I get really whingy. So when I was complaining about the adoption he just said “Lisa, this is just one of those times, think about how much you will love and appreciate that kid when they come”. He’s a good man Andy Beach.