I am not remotely a spiritual or religious person. I consider myself a cultural Jew, but really don’t abide by any of the rules. I am obstinate by nature. If I had listened to the rules I would have never married Andy (who’s not Jewish) or tasted tasty tasty pork. Two of my favorite things, (Fortunately in that order)

I do think this whole process is making me ever-so-slightly rethink my belief in God. I keep saying this- and truly on days when all seems lost–that our kid is out there waiting for us and its meant to be our kid. Andy and I are so unique and such a funny brand of whack jobs that it is going to take a special special kid to fit into our threesome. If I am going to hang on to this belief I can’t take a little Devine intervention from above out of the picture.

I could say that government bureaucracy is bringing us to our kid and even if that kid doesn’t really fit into our family- we will make it work and believe that it works. I mean we could end up with a vegan or a shy kid or something. Oy Vey a VEGAN.

I don’t really believe this though. I have seen so many families bring home a kid that is the perfect fit for them. It might be nurture over nature. I don’t know (or frankly care). This is an amazing process. To watch these families become whole is- dare i say it? A miracle.

Oh please- I can see my old friends rolling their eyes (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE ERICA WIDES). I am not going to join a synagogue and start dovining every day. Hells no! I am just saying that my beliefs are being tested by this process, and maybe the results are good enough.